What were you doing on the 3rd March last year? Can you remember? I can’t. I’m useless with dates! But my mum is excellent at keeping a diary and can tell me exactly what was going on. This day last year I was sat in a waiting room about to be told that not only had my cancer returned, but it was stage 4. Again. Woohoo!
Being told this today has made me feel quite reflective. I’ve been feeling really under the weather and have struggled to shake some kind of cold/flu/virus for the past three weeks. This has meant I’ve not been able to get out and ride my bike much, haven’t been able to run and have just felt really really fatigued. To be completely honest this doesn’t leave me in the best possible mood……… I hate the feeling that my body has let me down. I hate being unable to get out and do stuff (I hate that I end up watching Jeremy Kyle!) and I just end up feeling really frustrated. BUT……. I then was reminded what I was doing last year, I thought about all of the days that I was literally unable to leave bed or the days spent in hospital having chemo surrounded by people who I thought looked ‘proper ill’ (looking back at photos I maybe didn’t look that hot!)
All of a sudden I didn’t feel quite so bad today. I was able to go for a walk with my parents and see the sea. I spent time with my sister and nieces and my grandmother. Today was a good day.
As someone who is very special to me says: ” I have had my privilege checked”